Use your body to create powerful connections

How do you know the people you are connecting to are the best fit for you? Who are you surrounding yourself with?
There is a saying that goes: "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are".
That is equally true for your personal friendships as for your professional partnerships.

One thing that most entrepreneurs have difficulty with is building a powerful team that share in their values and their company's mission and vision.
One of the reasons for this is because as the creators, entrepreneurs often get caught up in wanting to maintain control of all aspects of the company.  This leads them to forget that, like all other human beings, they are good at some things and not so good at others.  No one can be great at everything. (Unless of course you have a Greek mom, who is truly convinced you are God's gift to the world and will happily share how perfect you are with anyone she exchanges a few words with!!)

Another difficulty in creating strong partnerships is that all too often people tend to forget to pay attention to how they really feel about the people around them.
Like personal friendships, our professional team has to be made up of people we can openly talk to, feel comfortable discussing ideas with and who share similar values as us.
It's all too great partnering up with that Ivy League graduate who speaks eloquently, yet do you feel there is a free flow of ideas? Do you feel that your objectives are similar and you can discuss your projects comfortably? Are his values compatible to yours?

We have a natural and extremely potent tool for detecting if the person in front of us is a good fit.  This tool is called: OUR BODY! One way to find out if the people surrounding you are a good match, is to check with your body.

What sensations do you feel when you are in a meeting with your team or your partners? A great exercise is to notice how you feel when you are speaking to each person. Really pay attention to your bodily reactions.
There are certain people we speak to and end the conversation always feeling tired or sleepy (that feeling of being drained). With others, we might feel our heart racing faster, some excitement in our chest. Still, with someone else, we might experience that "gut feeling" that tells us to say this or that.
Listen to it! Respect it!

Our bodies have energy centers (the so called chakras), wheel-like vortices that receive and transmit energy and information from and to the universe around them.  In a more subtle level, our bodies are always tuned and closely connected to the world around us. We have to teach ourselves and practice, practice, practice paying attention to our bodily sensations because our body's energy field can pick up valuable information we are not able to pick up with words.

Next time you are speaking to a potential partner, to someone who wants to enter your team or who already is a part of your team, take time to consciously pay attention to your bodily sensations. Are the feelings in your body positive or negative? What would they tell you if they could speak? What shape would they take if you could see them? Can you attribute a color to this specific sensation?

Pay attention to your body! It knows and is constantly communicating to you who is the right person to connect to in any given situation. 

On sticking to your decisions

Have you ever made a decision not to do something and find yourself doing it anyway? The compelling force of that which gives us pleasure (even if followed by pain) is such that one can never be prepared enough to withstand his weak spots.

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Bible, Matthew 26:41

I recently went back on a decision I had made and found myself getting angry at myself, being judgmental and having generalized thoughts such as "I can never stick to my decisions! I will never be able to say no to this!"


Maybe you decided not to eat chocolate in the next month or not to go into facebook when you need to get work done. Maybe it's a decision not to drink more than a preset number of wine glasses per night or not to kiss that person who has absolutely nothing to offer you emotionally.

No matter what decision we make, it takes more than wishful thinking or a positive attitude to stick to it!
It is well known that people are motivated either to get away from pain or to move towards pleasure. Going back on a decision can represent either of the two above. Either you are seeking to avoid pain: "I'm going to DIE if I don't eat that chocolate mousse" or to find pleasure: "That man's kisses give me goose bumps". Sometimes, it can represent both: "I get nervous in social situations. If I drink a whole pool of wine, the night will go by like a breeze".

Here's the first and most important step to dealing with not sticking to your decisions:
FORGIVE YOURSELF!

This sounds like something easy and straightforward and I guarantee that most of you have had a difficult time forgiving yourself after going back on a decision.
Forgiving ourselves is important because it is the purest form of compassion towards ourselves. Compassion for nothing less than being human! Hey, our brains are wired to seek pleasure!

I had this conversation with a client today who told me he felt that if he forgave himself, he would be complying with falling into temptation.
Yes and no!
Yes, if we make a habit out of finding excuses for why we fall into temptation, then forgiving ourselves might be just a way of excusing our behavior.
No, because if there is no true forgiveness, there is no true healing.

The second step to dealing with temptation is to identify what is going on in your body. How does your body feel when faced with the temptation? Do you feel butterflies in your stomach, does your chest weigh a little heavier, does your heart beat faster in anticipation? How does your body react? What would that reaction tell you if it could talk to you?

The third step to dealing with temptations is to always remember it takes nothing less than a warrior to stand tall in the face of seduction. To be a warrior requires you to think in terms of what you will accomplish versus concentrating on what you are trying to "resist".  How will sticking to your decision make your life more fulfilling? How will it help you grow? How will it help you be free and liberated? Can you feel how powerful you are when you stick to your decisions?

Forgive yourself and keep on moving. Keep on moving with the power of the warrior who is certain he will accomplish great things if he only has the courage to pay attention to himself and believe with all his might that tomorrow will be a better day.

On the importance of closing cycles

Are you aware of the cycles you open in life?
Are you aware of the words you speak?
Do your words start partnerships, projects or promises that remain in that state - no change in status, not moving forwards, or backwards let alone to any side?
Do you finish what you start?

Beware!
You might not realize it but living amongst open cycles is actually keeping you in a powerless position. Why?
Because you, my friend, are losing precious energy!
When you start something (be it with your word or actions) you are bound to that in an energetic level. You have invested your valuable energy - in the form of thoughts, words and/or actions (all of which require physical energy to come about) and what has become of it? What has been the return on your investment?

If it's working, find out what's working, invest more energy, value it, elaborate, perfect it.
If it's not working, make a bold decision as to what is to be done with it - and take the next step!

Don't pretend it's not happening or make believe that not taking a stance is the most natural thing to do. Leaving things hanging entails confusion and lack of clarity. That is the energy that you are sending out into the universe. Confused and unclear thought-energy.  Guess what you're going to get back from the universe?

The beauty in closing cycles is that you collect back your energy and are free to focus and pour it anywhere else you desire. Powerfully and clearly!

Clear and focused thoughts, clear and focused action.

Open Cycle!
If it's working:
Great!
Move ahead!
If it isn't working:
Great!
Close Cycle!
Move ahead!