Use your body to create powerful connections

How do you know the people you are connecting to are the best fit for you? Who are you surrounding yourself with?
There is a saying that goes: "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are".
That is equally true for your personal friendships as for your professional partnerships.

One thing that most entrepreneurs have difficulty with is building a powerful team that share in their values and their company's mission and vision.
One of the reasons for this is because as the creators, entrepreneurs often get caught up in wanting to maintain control of all aspects of the company.  This leads them to forget that, like all other human beings, they are good at some things and not so good at others.  No one can be great at everything. (Unless of course you have a Greek mom, who is truly convinced you are God's gift to the world and will happily share how perfect you are with anyone she exchanges a few words with!!)

Another difficulty in creating strong partnerships is that all too often people tend to forget to pay attention to how they really feel about the people around them.
Like personal friendships, our professional team has to be made up of people we can openly talk to, feel comfortable discussing ideas with and who share similar values as us.
It's all too great partnering up with that Ivy League graduate who speaks eloquently, yet do you feel there is a free flow of ideas? Do you feel that your objectives are similar and you can discuss your projects comfortably? Are his values compatible to yours?

We have a natural and extremely potent tool for detecting if the person in front of us is a good fit.  This tool is called: OUR BODY! One way to find out if the people surrounding you are a good match, is to check with your body.

What sensations do you feel when you are in a meeting with your team or your partners? A great exercise is to notice how you feel when you are speaking to each person. Really pay attention to your bodily reactions.
There are certain people we speak to and end the conversation always feeling tired or sleepy (that feeling of being drained). With others, we might feel our heart racing faster, some excitement in our chest. Still, with someone else, we might experience that "gut feeling" that tells us to say this or that.
Listen to it! Respect it!

Our bodies have energy centers (the so called chakras), wheel-like vortices that receive and transmit energy and information from and to the universe around them.  In a more subtle level, our bodies are always tuned and closely connected to the world around us. We have to teach ourselves and practice, practice, practice paying attention to our bodily sensations because our body's energy field can pick up valuable information we are not able to pick up with words.

Next time you are speaking to a potential partner, to someone who wants to enter your team or who already is a part of your team, take time to consciously pay attention to your bodily sensations. Are the feelings in your body positive or negative? What would they tell you if they could speak? What shape would they take if you could see them? Can you attribute a color to this specific sensation?

Pay attention to your body! It knows and is constantly communicating to you who is the right person to connect to in any given situation. 

On sticking to your decisions

Have you ever made a decision not to do something and find yourself doing it anyway? The compelling force of that which gives us pleasure (even if followed by pain) is such that one can never be prepared enough to withstand his weak spots.

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Bible, Matthew 26:41

I recently went back on a decision I had made and found myself getting angry at myself, being judgmental and having generalized thoughts such as "I can never stick to my decisions! I will never be able to say no to this!"


Maybe you decided not to eat chocolate in the next month or not to go into facebook when you need to get work done. Maybe it's a decision not to drink more than a preset number of wine glasses per night or not to kiss that person who has absolutely nothing to offer you emotionally.

No matter what decision we make, it takes more than wishful thinking or a positive attitude to stick to it!
It is well known that people are motivated either to get away from pain or to move towards pleasure. Going back on a decision can represent either of the two above. Either you are seeking to avoid pain: "I'm going to DIE if I don't eat that chocolate mousse" or to find pleasure: "That man's kisses give me goose bumps". Sometimes, it can represent both: "I get nervous in social situations. If I drink a whole pool of wine, the night will go by like a breeze".

Here's the first and most important step to dealing with not sticking to your decisions:
FORGIVE YOURSELF!

This sounds like something easy and straightforward and I guarantee that most of you have had a difficult time forgiving yourself after going back on a decision.
Forgiving ourselves is important because it is the purest form of compassion towards ourselves. Compassion for nothing less than being human! Hey, our brains are wired to seek pleasure!

I had this conversation with a client today who told me he felt that if he forgave himself, he would be complying with falling into temptation.
Yes and no!
Yes, if we make a habit out of finding excuses for why we fall into temptation, then forgiving ourselves might be just a way of excusing our behavior.
No, because if there is no true forgiveness, there is no true healing.

The second step to dealing with temptation is to identify what is going on in your body. How does your body feel when faced with the temptation? Do you feel butterflies in your stomach, does your chest weigh a little heavier, does your heart beat faster in anticipation? How does your body react? What would that reaction tell you if it could talk to you?

The third step to dealing with temptations is to always remember it takes nothing less than a warrior to stand tall in the face of seduction. To be a warrior requires you to think in terms of what you will accomplish versus concentrating on what you are trying to "resist".  How will sticking to your decision make your life more fulfilling? How will it help you grow? How will it help you be free and liberated? Can you feel how powerful you are when you stick to your decisions?

Forgive yourself and keep on moving. Keep on moving with the power of the warrior who is certain he will accomplish great things if he only has the courage to pay attention to himself and believe with all his might that tomorrow will be a better day.

On the importance of closing cycles

Are you aware of the cycles you open in life?
Are you aware of the words you speak?
Do your words start partnerships, projects or promises that remain in that state - no change in status, not moving forwards, or backwards let alone to any side?
Do you finish what you start?

Beware!
You might not realize it but living amongst open cycles is actually keeping you in a powerless position. Why?
Because you, my friend, are losing precious energy!
When you start something (be it with your word or actions) you are bound to that in an energetic level. You have invested your valuable energy - in the form of thoughts, words and/or actions (all of which require physical energy to come about) and what has become of it? What has been the return on your investment?

If it's working, find out what's working, invest more energy, value it, elaborate, perfect it.
If it's not working, make a bold decision as to what is to be done with it - and take the next step!

Don't pretend it's not happening or make believe that not taking a stance is the most natural thing to do. Leaving things hanging entails confusion and lack of clarity. That is the energy that you are sending out into the universe. Confused and unclear thought-energy.  Guess what you're going to get back from the universe?

The beauty in closing cycles is that you collect back your energy and are free to focus and pour it anywhere else you desire. Powerfully and clearly!

Clear and focused thoughts, clear and focused action.

Open Cycle!
If it's working:
Great!
Move ahead!
If it isn't working:
Great!
Close Cycle!
Move ahead!

A quote to remember

I gave a workshop this week and the title was "How to keep your power through difficult times". It was a great experience because apart from the fact that a couple of people who had never opened up to some hidden aspects of themselves, did so and did so publicly (sharing yourself in front of others is VERY powerful), something very curious happened.

One participant waited for everyone to leave so he could tell us (myself and my colleague who was presenting the workshop with me) that he felt extremely annoyed about what one person said and it was our responsibility to have stopped that person from speaking.

I asked him: "What stopped you from speaking up and sharing your thoughts about it in the group instead of waiting for everyone to leave?"

I will not get into the details about where that conversation led, yet the importance of what I am sharing is that OUR THOUGHTS have the power to stop us dead in our tracks or to help us fly higher than we ever imagined possible.

Have you ever stopped to think about the quality of your thoughts?
How is your precious energy (in the form of thought) being spent most of the days?
Do you have any control over them? Do they know who is BOSS? By the way, who is boss, you or your thoughts?

If you are willing to slow down from the hustle and bustle of life and sit quietly for a short while, you will realize the vast amount of thoughts that cross your mind at any given moment. They keep coming, all the time, all random thoughts. The bad news is they are mostly negative (it is our human nature to have negative, fearful, worrisome, doubtful thoughts) the good news is that one can practice and through practice, perfectly go beyond his thoughts. Like any other thing to be mastered, it takes practice to control and focus your mind, yet it is no doubt the biggest gift you will ever give yourself! Much better than attaining a gym membership for one year,  much cheaper than joining a yoga studio and oh so much more powerful than listening to anyone's motivational speech.

I can't stress enough the importance of the book by James Allen, "As a Man Thinketh" published in 1902. This is a gem of a book and every page is important.

James Allen talks about the power our thoughts exert upon us and focuses the reader's attention on the quality of her own thoughts. Allen goes on to talk about how important it is to have a purpose in life. A purpose that will have you longing to get somewhere, do something, be someone and through that keep your thoughts focused and far away from fears, worries, doubts and judgements.

Today, a few lines from the book stood out for me and I will share them with you.

"As the physically weak man can make himself strong by careful and patient training, so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong by exercising himself in right thinking.
To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully."

Practice noticing your thoughts. Practice focusing your thoughts. Practice makes perfect! If you encounter failure along the way, think nothing of it. Thank your lucky stars for the learning opportunity and carry on practicing!

Inspiration, inspiration wherefore art thou?

I hear people talk about not having inspiration. Not being inspired to do their best in their job, not being inspired to start or continue writing (I've been through "a few" of those days myself), not being inspired to paint the next canvas, not being inspired enough to help change the world.
We've all been through it in one way or another. Feeling a lack of inspiration, as if inspiration were something that comes from the outside and will fall upon our heads if we procrastinate long enough and do our best to pretend we aren't worried about it.


The secret to becoming inspired in order to create (anything) is to always be creating. Creating at all times, even if it doesn't look like inspired creation. Creating in the form of taking action. Taking action even when you hear the inner voices saying nothing great will come out of it or reminding you of all those negative self beliefs you have collected and come to believe throughout your life.
Taking action frees us from being stuck in our negative thoughts and allows the body to express itself as it so desires.

If it is writing, sit down to write at a certain time everyday, or choose 5, 4, 2x a week and do it when the day and time come. Even if you have nothing to write, write about it. Write about not having anything to write, write about the table you are using to write. Write about the floor or any patterns you see outside your window.

If it is selling, call your next potential client. If it is painting, put up the canvas and start scribbling, if it's creating a movement, share your influential idea with one next person.

As Steve Chandler, personal success coach and author, puts it, creativity is about the body, not the mind. It has to do with the actions you take. After taking action, the mind follows with new ideas, in the form of inspiration that you will then act on.

To illustrate my point, I share a contemporary urban story.


I have the pleasure of knowing a very talented young musician, Katerina Polemi, who like myself, is an anglo saxon educated, Greek-Brazilian girl that now lives in this crises ridden yet breathtakingly gorgeous country - Greece.

In one of her shows I attended, Katerina shared with her audience how one day she was having some difficulty feeling inspired to write a song. What makes this such an impactful example is that Katerina took steps to create without being inspired. She took action and started playing around, writing a few verses, talking to inspiration itself. She didn't wait for inspiration to shine down upon her like a ray of light. She took action, got herself inspired and created an incredible song.

Watch below, what amazing melody came out of this mental doodle.

A Powerful Prayer for Easter!

Happy Easter! It is Orthodox Easter (I am half Greek, the majority of Greeks are Orthodox). In Greece, Easter is a very special time. 

I love easter time in Greece! It is no wonder why the Gods chose this country!

With the unmistakable smells of white and colorful flowers blooming, the sun beginning to bless us with his shine for more hours everyday, and the sea that from a very deep blue starts turning brighter and brighter until the turquoise of the Mediterranean makes your heart skip a beat when contemplated upon. 

A time of true rebirth, just like the one we read about in the Bible. 

I want to share a prayer that in my view has a lot to do with Rebirth! 

"Oh Divine Providence, I ask not for more riches, but for more wisdom with which to use the riches you gave me at birth in the form of power to direct and control my mind to whatever ends I desire." - Napoleon Hill 

Let's pray that the discipline and self love required to acquire the power to direct and control our minds be reborn in us every single day.

And may in celebrating Easter, Jesus's teachings be reborn, even if coming as messages from other enlightened beings. Watch the video below, you will find exceptional use in Napoleon Hill's  words. 

Follow your passion

Do love what you do? 
Do you get up in the morning with a smile on your face because you know you are lucky to have found and to work with your passion?
Regardless of all external circumstances do you feel, deep inside, that through your work you are sharing your most amazing gift?
Does your body feel free and curious to go to work every day?


A great read on how to THRIVE, not just live! 


How to Find Your Purpose and Do What You Love


Highlights: 

Steve Jobs: "Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”


Hugh MacLeod: " The best way to get approval is not to need it. This is equally true in art and business. And love. And sex. And just about everything else worth having.”


Alain de Botton: "One of the interesting things about success is that we think we know what it means. A lot of the time our ideas about what it would mean to live successfully are not our own. They’re sucked in from other people. And we also suck in messages from everything from the television to advertising to marketing, etcetera. These are hugely powerful forces that define what we want and how we view ourselves. What I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we’re truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted all along.”


Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has a term for the quality that sets labor apart from work: flow — a kind of intense focus and crisp sense of clarity where you forget yourself, lose track of time, and feel like you’re part of something larger.

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