To all friends who have visited, read and enjoyed this blog:
Thank you for your interest and support! It has been an amazingly fascinating and challenging year for me and it has been an immense personal satisfaction to develop this blog further.
I can't wait to enter the new year and have the opportunity to share more insights and personal thoughts on developing ourselves into more conscientious and free beings, tending for our body, minds, hearts and souls.
I Wish You a Healthy and Happy New Year!
Below are some tips for creating and allowing happiness into our lives. The Greater Good Science Center is based in the University of California, Berkley and sponsors research into social and emotional well being.
Here are 6 habits they say are worth cultivating if you want to lead a happier life:
Having had the immense pleasure and honor of working with children for several years, I am very concerned about the impact our current educational system has on them. I personally believe we ought to be working towards a revolution in the way we educate our youngsters. That is why I am impressed by Portuguese teen entrepreneur, Ricardo Sousa, who has founded the "Movement for Change in Education". MCE hopes to be an enabler and a catalyzer for local action demanding an education model where creativity, entrepreneurship and individual talent are taken into consideration. ricardosousa.me
My curiosity on ways to view and involve children holistically in education led me to Sir Ken Robins' work and I reveled in watching his TED speech in Monteray, California. This extraordinary man shares with us his thoughts on how our current educational system stifles children's creativity.
Sir Ken Robinson is an author, speaker, and international advisor on education in the arts to government, non profits, education and arts bodies. He was Director of the Arts Schools Project (1985-89), Professor of Arts Education at the University of Warwick (1989-2001), and was knighted in 2003 for services to education. Wikipedia
Below are a few of his inspirational words for those who don't have 20 minutes to spare to listen and reflect on where our current educational system takes the keepers of this world's future.
"Creativity now is as important in education as literacy and we should treat it with the same status"
"Every education system on earth has the same hierarchy of subjects...At the top are mathematics and languages, then the humanities and at the bottom are the arts."
"Our task is to educate [children's] whole being so they can face [the] future."
"Many highly talented, brilliant, creative people think they're not, because the thing they were good at at schooled wasn't valued or was actually stigmatized."
"We know...about intelligence: Intelligence is diverse: We think about the world in all the way we experience it. We think visually, we think in sound, we think kinesthetically, [we think] in abstract terms, we think in movement. Intelligence is dynamic: Creativity...more often than not, comes about through the interaction of different disciplinary ways of seeing things."
"We have to rethink the fundamental principles by which we are educating our children."
Finally, my personal favorite: "If you are not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original"
Coaching with my incredibly sensitive and insightful coach, Rich Litvin has had an impact on me as few self development courses or lectures I have attended. And I have attended MANY! My beliefs and world views are gently challenged by Rich, and this has the power to change the way I see the world, in only one hour! Because the way I view it changes, I automatically start occurring in the world differently!
Some time ago, Rich challenged me to fail! My work (coaching is all about taking steps forward, so there is always a call to action!) was to collect a pre set number of "NOs". When I first heard it, I thought "peace of cake, bring me the real challenge!!", boy was I in for a surprise!
When I started out trying to collect NOs, it was much harder than I thought. It made me realize that to me, receiving a NO is synonymous to failure. OK, I did ask a waiter if I could move my table outside the restaurant and he very politely replied "No, I'm sorry, that is impossible" with a very puzzled look on his face, given that there was obviously nowhere to put the table outside the restaurant. Yet that was easy. He was a stranger, he would never see me again and let's face it, these waiters see so many "weird" people everyday, I couldn't care less if he thought I was just another one of them.
Then the challenge started to feel uncomfortable. I started thinking of things to ask of people I know, that might get me a NO. I really longed to do it, and even though I knew it was only a "game" I still felt that getting the NO would mean I failed. The thought of asking real challenging things from my friends, my clients and even my landlord, filled me up with fear and paralyzed me. I was obviously not prepared to hear the two lettered word from them! I am still playing the game and at times it still feels like butterflies are having a party in my stomach.
The Bible says: Ask and it shall be given you. It never said: "Ask once and it shall be given you straight away"! As Master Coach, Steve Chandler puts it: Yes lives in the land of No! The more No's you receive, the bigger the chances to collect the so sought after Yes!
When we think failure (as in NO), we immediately put up a fight. Failure is a hard blow to our ego: "Someone said no to ME? Let me run and hide in my whole for a month!"
The No game, or any other form of failure, are ways to take your consciousness to another level. The more you fail, the more you become resilient to it, feeling the need to hide in the whole for less and less time, until one day, failure (or No) is just another word, detached from any fighting or feelings of unworthiness.
Have you seen Nike's commercial featuring Michael Jordan talking about his life's failures?
How many times have you failed this past month? Just for fun, are you willing to double the failure rate next month? Give yourself a REALLY challenging new years resolution and take your consciousness to the next level while you're at it!
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth-the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans-the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too." W.H. Murray Scottish Himalayan Expedition
Dr. Yogi, master teacher of kunadilini yoga, talks about commitment:
I have the following eight words written on a card displayed on my refrigerator door. Without fail, all who come over for dinner and read these simple eight words open a vast and inspired smile. I can almost see their mental image of themselves being successful in their chosen areas. Their eyes shiny and dreamy. I always think "Imagine if they read the whole thing!"
I am delighted to have come across this entry once again and so happy to share these real views of what some of the world's most triumphant people believe accounts for their success. Enough said! Read on: PS-I will PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE making this blog look nicer :-S
It all started one day on a plane, on my way to TED, seven years ago. And in the seat next to me was a high school student, a teenager, and she came from a really poor family. And she wanted to make something of her life, and she asked me a simple little question. She said, "What leads to success?" And I felt really badly, because I couldn't give her a good answer. So I get off the plane, and I come to TED. And I think, jeez, I'm in the middle of a room of successful people! So why don't I ask them what helped them succeed, and pass it on to kids? So here we are, seven years, 500 interviews later, and I'm gonna tell you what really leads to success and makes TED-sters tick.
1.Passion Freeman Thomas says, "I'm driven by my passion." TED-sters do it for love, they don't do it for money. Carol Coletta says, "I would pay someone to do what I do." And the interesting thing is, if you do it for love, the money comes anyway.
2. Hard Work Rupert Murdoch said to me, "It's all hard work. Nothing comes easily. But I have a lot of fun." Did he say fun? Rupert? Yes! TED-sters do have fun working. And they work hard. I figured, they're not workaholics. They're workafrolics.
3. Practice Alex Garden says, "To be successful put your nose down in something and get damn good at it." There's no magic, it's practice, practice, practice.
4. Focus Norman Jewison said to me, "I think it all has to do with focusing yourself on one thing"
5. Push Yourself David Gallo says, "Push yourself. Physically, mentally, you've gotta push, push, push." You gotta push through shyness and self-doubt. Goldie Hawn says, "I always had self-doubts. I wasn't good enough, I wasn't smart enough. I didn't think I'd make it." Now it's not always easy to push yourself, and that's why they invented mothers. Frank Gehry said to me, "My mother pushed me."
6. Serve Sherwin Nuland says, "It was a privilege to serve as a doctor." Now a lot of kids tell me they want to be millionaires. And the first thing I say to them is, "OK, well you can't serve yourself, you gotta serve others something of value. Because that's the way people really get rich."
7. Ideas TED-ster Bill Gates says, "I had an idea -- founding the first micro-computer software company." I'd say it was a pretty good idea. And there's no magic to creativity in coming up withideas, it's just doing some very simple things.
8. Persist Joe Kraus says, "Persistence is the number one reason for our success." You gotta persist through failure. You gotta persist through crap! Which of course means "Criticism, Rejection, Assholes and Pressure."
In Summary, Do it for love not for money; push your limits physically, mentally(self-doubt,shyness); Persist against Criticism, Rejection, Assholes and Pressures; Have fun in what you do; Become really good at what you do....practice practice practice; Serve others andmoney will come; Get Ideas -Listen, Observe, Be Curious, Ask Questions, Solve Problems, Make Connections; Focus yourself on one thing.
So, the big -- the answer to this question is simple: Do the eight things, these are the eight things that lead to success.
Today is a big day here in Greece, where I currently live. Unfortunately it isn't like a bride's big day, full of excitement and fun anticipation! Our prime minister has obviously played his cards all wrong and the whole of Europe is extremely dissatisfied with his latest decisions. There is talk of our country leaving the Euro and going back to the Drachma and this threat has driven every Greek citizen beside himself. Man, there is so much anger here right now! I won't go into that any further as this subject, albeit significant, isn't the least bit inspiring to me.
What I find inspiring is the understanding that all of us, collectively, as a race, not only in my country but in many other countries around the world, have reached during these turbulent economic times. We see people from all walks of life coming together to inspire change. There has been an increased interest in topics such as self awareness, self development, spiritual advancement, mind and body approaches, and so many others that only a few years ago were seen as "fluff".
We have all understood the time has come to change, shift, evolve!
I am currently the proud student of a Coaching Prosperity School led by remarkable author and master coach Steve Chandler. Steve talks about shifting our mind a lot and although it may seem like something undoable (does "I've been this way all my life, I can't change now" sound familiar?) he says it only takes one thing for shift to occur - and this is what I want to share with you.
"When the mind is open, it will shift. When the mind is closed, it won't." Steve Chandler
It's as easy as it sounds! All you need to do is keep an open mind. An open mind welcomes new people, new people carry information, information can ignite creativity, creativity offers solutions and solutions almost always bring results. Accepting and acting on all of the above brings change!
How about I set a call for action? Remind yourself everyday for the next week that you have an open mind! Let "I have an open mind" be your mantra! Be aware and start to notice how your open mind will make space for those exceptional shifts that will inevitably begin to occur!
Today I gave thanks for the opportunity of meeting a wonderful spiritual life coach, Akrura dasa of Gita Coaching. This man travels the world offering workshops and coaching individuals to achieve a fuller life, not only spiritually but also with issues of this physical reality. I met Akrura in a kirtan, where he led the chanting for the elevation of our consciousness. His interest didn't terminate in the people who were gathered there. So grand is his generosity, his intent was to benefit the whole of humanity with our chanting. "Sound travels around the globe" he said "our chanting will vibrate and spread its benefit to all".
After the kirtan, I eagerly approached him to share that I too am a life coach, helping individuals get in touch with their inner power and fulfill their true potentials. I never expected his reaction! Akrura opened a vast smile that reminded me of a child who has just gotten exactly what he asked from Santa! I shared with him that I coach people holistically, approaching the body, mind and spirit. He was interested in meeting with me to know more about my chosen path.
Our meeting a few days later was another surprise! Akrura ate a cucumber and a green pepper, part of his raw food diet. This, along with his chanting must be what makes his being so light. "Tell me how you put awareness in the body and soul during your coaching session." Having him listen curiously to my holistic approach to coaching was probably how a musician felt if he was so lucky as to jam with Jimmy Hendrix!
Before I left, without my asking, Akrura openheartedly gave me most of his and other leaders' work which would take me years to compile.
How could I not take the time to thank this beautiful soul and my "lucky stars" for having met him?
Gratefulness, simply put, is about getting in closer touch with the origin of which every blessing, benefit or support comes from. Giving thanks keeps you in contact with the creative force, universal energy, God or whatever you choose to call the unseen power that ultimately rules our existence.
I ask my coaching clients to report to me on a weekly basis, what it is that they are thankful for in their lives. Some have never had the chance to think about this and therefore don't know what to write. I sometimes get: "I have nothing to be thankful for, can't you see the state that this country/the world/my life is in?" I remind them of their health, or their mother's health or even the blessing of having their children close to them. This automatically puts things into perspective and I see genuine gratitude in their face.
Being grateful helps us focus on the positive aspects, things and people that enter our lives and therefore compels us to want to share positive things with others.
Try it yourself! Can you make a list of five things you are grateful for today?
Yesterday a client came in like a hurricane. He was extremely anxious as he entered my office several minutes late. He started telling me how he ran around the whole day, a photo shoot that was supposed to take two hours took four, and then he attended a meeting and then he had to come see me and still needed to go to kickboxing class after our appointment...
I was out of breath just listening to him. Before we did anything, I asked him to take two minutes to breathe. After the two minutes, he had a huge smile on his face. It was all he needed at that moment. To be reminded to just breathe.
If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.
If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.
If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.
If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will help bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now.
If you are spending time with someone you love, breathe. It will allow you to be present with that person, rather than thinking about work or other things you need to do.
If you are exercising, breathe. It will help you enjoy the exercise, and therefore stick with it for longer.
If you are moving too fast, breathe. It will remind you to slow down, and enjoy life more.
So breathe. And enjoy each moment of this life. They’re too fleeting and few to waste.
—
Tip: Put the word “Breathe” as a screensaver or desktop pic, or put it up as a note on your wall or fridge or on your desk. Then do it every time you see the word.
"You'll never leave where you are until you decide where you'd rather be"
Angela Oberer
I often hear people say that if they didn't need the money, they would leave their job. I have also heard: "If times weren't so tough, I would be free to do what I really love". Or the one everyone must have heard or said at one point or another: "I can't leave him/her, because he/she needs me".
As stated in the very truthful quote above, one can never leave (a place, a relationship, a job, you name it) if he does not make clear in his mind where it is he would rather be. Or how it is she would rather be living, working, spending her time. So making excuses is the next best thing to do!
Most people don't realize that "deciding where you would rather be" takes more than the mere decision. It is not enough only to think about it, daydream about it once in a while, especially if you do it in a shy way, scared that someone will find out where you would really like to be. Or scared that God will punish you if you want something different, and God forbid should you want something MORE!!
The first, and probably the most important step, to leaving where you are is to announce where you'd rather be! Announce it to your mind, the universe, and anyone around you that you think might help.
How do you announce it to your mind? You "see it" with your mind's eye. You see yourself in that position, visualize every possible detail. Make it substantially detailed! What will you see when you are in this new place? How will you look, how will others around you look? How will they see you? How will you be dressed? What will you see when you look around you in this new role?
What will you hear? How will you be speaking? How will others be speaking to you? Do you hear sounds around you?
Finally, how do you feel being in this new situation? What feelings do you get when you visualize yourself there? Pay attention to these feelings that come up, they are valuable feedback. Visualizations provide information for your brain and it starts "searching" for this reality. The more detailed the visualization, the more information your brain receives. Careful visualization creates a neural network that hold these "memories", even if they are future memories. Your mind cannot tell the difference between something you "see" and something you visualize.
How do you announce it to the universe? You talk as if you were already there "I am a cabaret singer"! You are training yourself and your mind to actually BE in that new position. You practice with affirmations, even if you do it only while looking in the mirror! That's how actors become so believable - they practice and practice until the day they themselves believe they are their character. Talk like you believe it, even if at first you don't! Practice does make perfect!
Don't be afraid to announce your desired destination to others. It is very important to know that you can use people around you as resources. Yes, I did put use and people in the same sentence and I am not ashamed of it! You need not be either! You will be surprised to find out that there are many people who will be happy to help you. Share your dream with others, you never know who or what they might know, it could be just what you need!
The great Mexican Teacher, Shaman and Healer Monyca Bouras, is in Athens! I feel blessed to have the opportunity to benefit from the teachings of this conscientious and powerful “curandera”!
For those of you not familiar with the term, the word shaman comes from the Tungusic language of Siberia and now a days is used to describe a practitioner. Yet, I prefer to have my teacher explain that which she understands all about:
Monyca, what is a shaman?
Monyca - The Shaman in the old days, was the lawyer, the physician, the priest all together, the same person. In the original communities in human kind, it was the king and the shaman. The king was the leader and the shaman took care of all other parts of the community.
Shamans are found in all societies. A shaman is someone who understands reality in a wider way. By understanding it one can move it. Understanding is the power! Shamanism is the path of wisdom.
When you say one can move it, do you mean the energy?
Monyca - For lack of a better word, I would say affect or modify energy and therefore, reality. The actual healing, the cleansings, the understanding of situations and illnesses does this.
Why would someone see a shaman today?
Monyca - Shamanism is valuable to the everyday person for it transmits / teaches a different view on life. In life we have certain things we feel we HAVE to do (find a job, buy a house, get married) and if you’re still not happy when you achieve these goals, you feel lost.
The shamanic point of view is wider, more open and permitting. It is limitless, not in the way that one doesn’t strive to have a house or a partner but in that it recognizes that these are just pieces of something bigger. Widening your comprehension of what life is, eases tension.
Can you further explain what you mean with limitless?
Monyca - OK let me give you an example: a person can be very worried and stressed out because they gained weight, or their boyfriend left them and then one day a doctor tells them: “you have brain cancer”! That really puts things in perspective.
Of course you don’t have to get cancer to widen your perspective. One of the great teachings of shamanism is that at the end of the day, the understanding that there are more meaningful things in life, gives you the freedom of not caring so much and not taking things so seriously. And that is a beauty!
How did you come into this path?
Monyca - My grandmother was a healer although I didn’t know it because I never met her.It became obvious that it was there, not only genetically but in the family system. I had little hints when I was a little girl, like knowing when the phone was going to ring. My mom tried to stop this from happening, by being very reactive towards it (due to fear) so it closed that opening. Then I bumped into my main teacher, Carlos de Leon because I wanted to study martial arts with him but he probably saw something in me and said I should practice shamanism.
What is it that you do exactly?
Monyca – I do healings and cleansings of spaces and people, rituals like the ceremony of light, and spiritual development counseling.I teach Ontogonic Shamanism since 1994.
What I found through the years is that this path has given me an enormous amount of joy. It might sound cheesy but seeing people smile again and tell me how I changed their lives is something I couldn’t live without anymore. Sometimes it is very tiring and freaky but all in all I have always had a lot of fun.
What d you mean with tiring?
Monyca - Although as shamans and healers we are taught how to handle our energy, I can get very tired after a day of many cleansings or after cleaning a big building. There have been cases when I had to sleep for 2 days after a particular cleansing. Yet, actual patterns change and people and situations do get healed and this is what’s wonderful about what I do.
Moyca will be in Greece until the beginning of October.
Sometimes I expect so much of myself and am left dumbstruck when I make a mistake. As if mistakes are only acceptable when others make them.
Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever felt the weight of regret so heavy on your shoulders you wish you could just lie in bed and wait for this feeling to pass...in 100 years preferably!
Feeling a little blue, I stumbled across the following quote:
"Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future" Sivananda
I couldn't control my feeling of anger towards this enlightened being who so simply put forth the command to "not repeat them in the future"! How dare he make it sound so easy?!
Choosing to ruminate over the deplorable mistake kept me stuck in thoughts of self aversion. How could I have been so wrong? How could I have done something so bad? Judgement, judgement, judgement!
It took me a few days to realize that what would really help me get over dropping the ball, and moving on to simply "not repeating it in the future" is to evaluate how useful was it?
How useful is bringing into my life more of what I don't want? Like author Caroline Myss once said in a lecture, our life is like an investment. Who would keep investing in shares that don't bring them sufficiently high returns? If the return on investment in not high or satisfactory, one simply does not invest again. Simple as that!
Humans make mistakes. It's part of being human! We are constantly on the road to growth and evolution, and there is usually little growth without pain and suffering.
So next time you, like me, make a mistake, simply thank the heavens for the teaching and do not repeat it again. Like a wise investor, take it as a lesson, keep on investing else where and don't waste your precious time judging yourself.
As previously mentioned, I believe Ubuntu has a very profound meaning. Today, it resonated in my heart when listening to a new friend talk about her life. I tried in vain to hide my tears while listening to the sheer hardship she endured as a child and the extraordinary abundance that she created for herself ever since.
Yet the magic lies in that she was willing to generously share her story and help me earnestly understand that if she has done it, I, or anyone for that matter, can do the same! Not once did I see a hint of regret or bitterness for what fate dropped in her arms as a little girl. On the contrary, I saw appreciation for hardship, I saw gratitude for life just as it is. I admired as I felt her eagerness to share these feelings with others.
We talked about the power of our dreams, "Never be afraid of dreaming" She so wisely said "For your dreams will feed your soul and that will keep you moving". We talked about the power of our positive thoughts and how angels speak through those we interact with.
For a moment I wished with all my heart that everyone around me shared in this generosity of spirit. Like the Africans, we can learn to take part on others' happiness and prosperity and know that one's success does not mean his neighbor's failure. Quite the opposite.
Kindness generates kindness and love only spreads out to more love.
Today, I want to ask you, who are reading this, to join me in my hope for a better future!
As I was researching the internet after information on empowerment, I came across an all encompassing definition and point of view I want to share with all of those who, like myself, believe that only through individual change can any collective transformation occur.
Read on:
"...we suggest that empowerment is a multi-dimensional social process that helps people gain control over their own lives. It is a process that fosters power (that is, the capacity to implement) in people, for use in their own lives, their communities, and in their society, by acting on issues that they define as important...
In addition, one important implication of this definition of empowerment is that the individual and community are fundamentally connected...
To create change we must change individually to enable us to become partners in solving the complex issues facing us. In collaborations based on mutual respect, diverse perspectives, and a developing vision, people work toward creative and realistic solutions."
How important is your and your nation's future? Is it important enough as to create in you the fearlessness to work on your individual change process before you can collectively help free your country from heinously shameless corruption?
Please watch the video and you will understand why we are in such dire need of empowered, fearless individuals in our society!
People are tired of lies!
People are feeling cheated and manipulated!
Do you define your and your country's future as important? If so, join me in my hope to see an empowered community fearlessly stand up tall and implement their influence over corruption and mishandling of resources! Start acting by spreading this video!
Legendary singer and songwriter Nina Simone inspired me today!
Living in the heart of Athens, Greece, during this time of political chaos and social upheaval has proved to be both despairing and inspiring.
Needless to say, despair comes with realizing that millions of lives, hopes and dreams have been completely undermined and disdained, traded in for the force of greed, for the hunger of the few who need more and more to live in their version of peace! Despair is at the heart of moments like the ones of this past week, when hundreds of Greek citizens were hospitalized due to the brutal use of violence by the police force! Despair advances with seeing more and more educated and resourceful young men and women being laid off, not producing as their energy and fruitfulness allows them to, rather fleeing the country for a better tomorrow or giving up their dreams for a piece of bread!
Yet, at times like these, one cannot help but feel inspired! There is inspiration in the nation's biggest plateia (square), where hundreds of thousands have peacefully protested for over 25 days and nights, sharing their hope that tomorrow will be a better day and their dreams will not be derided. There is inspiration in knowing deep within, that from chaos, all great things are created! Inspiration also comes in returning to ourselves, looking within and painfully and bravely understanding that there is a reason why each and every one of us is involved in this massive muddle. Yet, the most pronounced inspiration is the remembrance that one doesn't need much to be happy or complete; because we have been given the greatest gift of all: our life!
Nina Simone inspired me today by reminding me to keep it simple and to be grateful for the generous present that is my life!
How much inspiration are you inviting into your own precious life?
Today I was reminded of the unforgettably spectacular "Fiddler on the Roof" play, that tells the story of a Jewish family man who is going through his life dealing with changes. His daughters are growing and it's time to find them a husband, newcomers to the village are not welcome and amidst it all, Tevye, the main character, is dirt poor.
At one point, Tevye has a little conversation with God and here's how it goes:
This delightful video depicts Reb Tevye sharing his wish to be a wealthy man. We all have wishes. Some are as big as becoming wealthy while others are not as big, like wanting a new pair of sunglasses or a computer.
So how can we make our wishes come true? Reb Tevye chose to have a talk with the Big Man up there. If he will be heard or not is a different story, but I will share some tips on how to turn your wishes into reality.
The first step to attaining your wish is to stop seeing it as merely a wish and make it into your goal. What is the difference, one might ask, between a wish and a goal? Well, the difference is in the structure. A wish is like a dream, something that is nice to imagine but not much energy is put into actually attaining it. Do you still wish upon a star? Well, if you do, I'm going to have to be the one who will awaken you to the bitter fact that the star will do nothing to help your wish come true! Sorry if I burst your bubble! Life is cruel, I know!
Start acting by writing your goal down. Writing our goals down is the first step to making them achievable. It also gives us the opportunity to go back to them when we start drifting away! State your goal in the positive, as the brain does not make a distinction between positive and negative. For example, if you want to stop smoking, your written statement will not be "I will stop smoking". The brain will focus on "smoking" and that will make it all the more difficult to quit. A good way to write it down would be "I am smoke free" or "I am healthy". Notice too, I have written "I am..." instead of "I want to...". Expressing your goal in the present engages your brain in believing it is in that state.
Make your goal as specific as possible. Include details of how you want the goal to look like, smell, feel, etc. What exact outcome are you looking for or what is it exactly that you want to accomplish?
Also, make sure your goal is measurable. How will you know when you have achieved that goal if you are not able to quantify it, or to determine some sort of evidence that shows you have reached it?
Furthermore, take time to think if your goal is attainable. Is attaining that goal within your possibilities and does it only depend on you? I like to tell the story of how I once wanted to have "Madonna arms". I was living in the land of frustration, because obviously having "Madonna arms" was not within my possibilities as I did not have the time to work out so much nor did I have the right person next to me to guide me through it (a personal trainer for example). That kept me frozen, as I felt frustrated from the very beginning.
Make sure your goal is time bound. In other words, set a specific date for reaching that goal! That gives you a clear idea of when to start and a way to check your progress. Also, without a deadline, you think about the goal as something you will accomplish, someday, eventually, and that is not challenging enough for our task seeking brains.
Finally, HAVE FUN WITH IT! A goal doesn't have to be something heavy looming on the back of your head! Find ways to play with it. Just like Reb Tevye, sing about it out loud! Make up a tune and sing it in the car or in the shower! Make a drawing of yourself having achieved that goal! What will you look like? What will your environment look like? Add in lots of colors, make it radiant!
I am certain that Reb Tevye would achieve his goal of becoming a rich man if he had some extra tips on goal setting. He was definitely on the right track! He could already envision himself and what he would do if he were a rich man!
What about you? What will you do or look like after you have achieved your next goal?
"It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us"
Marianne Williamson, "A Return to Love"
As a psychotherapist and life coach, I have encountered and worked with many individuals who very much fear what we often call "our inner darkness". Those characteristics, traits, behaviors that are often accompanied by terror when they choose to surface! We all have them, let's not kid ourselves! Those parts of ourselves that we don't know how to deal with or relate to. Understandably, this inability to handle these facets of our personality might lead us to dreading them.
What Marianne Williamson so insightfully shares with and invites us to understand is that above that fear of our inner darkness towers our fear of the light within!
This fear of our inner light is something we rarely pay attention to or even identify. Ironically, it is the sole roadblock stopping us from becoming the best version of ourselves! What is it that you REALLY want? What person do you most want to be? If you can close your eyes and envision your ideal self, how would it be? How would you be living?
Now close your eyes again and think of it actually happening! Think of yourself as being your ideal self, living the way you most want to live. What sensations do you feel in your body when you try this? Is your heart beating faster or did you get a lump in your stomach?
You will find that it is very scary to think of having all that you want, being all that you want or helping others as much as you want! Thoughts like: "I don't deserve it", "how can I have it while others can't" or "others will realize I am not that good" often cross our minds. Hence, our enormous fear of the light within!
Know that all that's stopping you from being the best you that you can ever be is merely your own fear. The good news is that if you consciously understand this and try to come in contact with this fear, one baby step at a time, you will see that getting in touch with the light within - that constant source of creativity, positivity and courage we all possess - is not only feasible but also fun! The fun lies in discovering yourself and pushing yourself and then discovering a bit more about yourself only to push yourself a bit further and discover another facet of yourself that will soon push you to want to discover a little more!
Discover and push forward! You will soon find you have impressively left that fear behind! You too can come in touch with that inner light and bring it out so it can lead the way to whatever it is you most want to shine it on.
OK, so being on top of it all is not always easy!
I haven't been able to write much this past month, so I decided to post a quote that I found inspiring and worth sharing!
"Not a single person is born in the world who has not a certain capacity which will make him proud, who is not pregnant with something to produce, to give birth to something new and beautiful, to make the existence richer. There is not a single person who has come into the world empty." Osho
Can you take a few minutes to think about one or two things that make you feel proud of yourself? What makes you think you have to wait for others to acknowledge your capacities? Can you pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for them? (I mean literally pat yourself on the back! Or kiss your shoulder, or blow yourself a kiss in front of the mirror! Who cares what you do, no one is watching!!)
You come to this world alone and you leave it alone still! Why not live in it feeding yourself with your own acknowledgment and admiration - you alone have the capacity to applaud yourself the most! Are you consciously and consistently doing that?
1) Children possess brilliance in their simplicity. They may not know much about the world, but in some ways this is their biggest strength. Growing up greatly expands our views of the world, but there are some basic and healthy values that we can forget with age. Here are a few of them…
2) We are born fear only two things: falling and loud noises. All other fears are instilled in us by the people we grow up around. Some of these fears are legitimate and necessary for living in a modernized world, like being hit by a car. Others are completely unnecessary and serve only to hinder us from being everything we can be. Consider for a moment which of your fears actually protect you from harm and which are illogical.
3) Until a child is told to “never talk to strangers!” they have no qualms about talking to random people. The “don’t talk to strangers” lesson seems to stick way past childhood which is a travesty! Strangers are wonderful and interesting people. Plus what is a friend before he/she is a friend but a stranger? I’ve written before about the oxymoron of social interaction but I even need a reminder sometimes. In short, why do we insist on making elevator rides supremely awkward? Who knows who you might meet or what you might learn by striking a small conversation with a stranger. Remember, we’re all human :)
4) When you’re a kid, any activity can be fun for hours and hours. Legos, playing ‘house,’ hide-and-go-seek and of course action figures were all sources of endless enjoyment. So what happened? As adults we can barely watch the same TV show for 30 minutes without looking for something better. During the last few days I’ve been attempting to re-live the wonder of childhood by viewing the world from a different perspective. I’ve found that if you really put forth the effort to find the beauty in small things (nature, architecture, art, the wonder of technology) it can be done! Take a second and look at something, really look at it! A basic example would the bark of a tree. If you can see the intricacy and beauty of the spirals of wood, you can apply that same perspective to bigger and even more fantastic things.
5) Children have no biases when it comes to love. If you smile at a child, he/she will beam a huge smile back at you for no reason other than your presence. Children do not love with expectation of something better in return, they just love. This is difficult to employ as adults but has some amazing benefits as I learned in my experiment with love. You can even love people that you would normally despise and it feels orgasmic in comparison. What’s more fun to do, smiling or frowning, punching or hugging? I think you get the idea.
It’s okay to be childish! Reaching a certain age does not mean we need to act that age all the time. Maturity is sometimes extremely overrated. Life shouldn’t be taken that seriously because do keep in mind, this is all transient and will all go up in smoke at some point. You might as well act like a kid sometimes and have fun living in the moment.
