Believe you CAN!

Believe you can, believe you can, believe you can!

I know you might be thinking this sounds like positive psycho-blabber and I will share with you my view on why it is actually more important than you think.

I want you to think about a time when you were being interviewed for a job you really wanted.
What would your behavior be if you thought:
"There is no chance I will get the job, others are so much better and I barely have any experience"
Now think, would you act in a different way, if your thoughts were:
"Yeah, I'm going to nail this interview because I'm amazing!"

We set ourselves up and live our life according to the quality of our thoughts.
When we are little, our thoughts are mostly an extension of the world around us. How our parents react towards us, what our teachers and friends say to and about us become our guide. Without realizing it, neuro pathways or connections are formed and the more we believe our thoughts (consciously or unconsciously), the stronger the connection becomes.

VIA bookbing.org

Our thoughts have the power to change our physical reactions, thus leading us to live our lives in this or that way, take this or that action. Try it right now! Think about yourself picking up a big, juicy, yellow lemon. With your mind's eye, smell it, notice its color, feel its bumpy texture. Now cut it open with a knife, see the liquid running and stick your teeth deep inside the yellow lemon, tasting its acidity. What happens in your mouth? And you didn't even actually taste the darn thing!!

To quote Henry Ford: "Whether you think you can or you think you can't - you are right"
Whatever it is your heart desires, a new job, the promotion, driving your company to success or healing some aspect of your life, you have to BELIEVE YOU CAN!
Even if at first it seems fake. When you start hearing those fearful voices inside your head, just repeat to yourself: "I can do it! I can do it! I CAN do it!"
You are training your brain and making the neurological pathways - with the information that you can! - stronger.  
As they say, where there's a will, there's a way!
You just have to believe you can find that way and remember to pat yourself on the back when you discover that you really could do it!

Fall off your bike!

Working with my coach is like learning to ride a bike.

As little kids, when we are first learning to ride our bikes, there is so much uncertainty. Everything is scary, the sensation of being on two wheels is so different from anything we have ever experienced! It's no wonder you often see little kids screaming as they are first left to pedal by themselves. Scary and exciting!

Then they fall!

Little kids fall off their bikes all the time! Some of them cry, some might laugh, others might want to sit down and catch their breath for a while. The miracle of watching a little kid riding his bike is that he will always get up again. She will always dust herself off and get on that bike one more time, give it one more try!

When we fall as adults, we tend to have so much difficulty in remembering to simply and gracefully dust ourselves off and get up on that bike again. We are afraid of what others will say! We think about how it will affect our so sought after and cherished reputation.

Falling off my bike is not an option! You know who I am? Do you have any ideas how many degrees I have mounted on my wall?

Yes, yes, I see who you are and how much you have invested in building your persona, yet I ask you: are you courageous enough to fall?

Are you courageous enough to share your true feelings without fear of rejection?
Are you brave enough to speak up in a meeting even if you think your idea/question might be criticized or challenged? Can you fall off that bike?
Are you daring enough to step forward, even if you fear your project won't work out. Not trying something new, like a new job because others might think you aren't as important anymore. After all, you are still LEARNING! You don't have it all together? You might still FALL OFF YOUR BIKE?

Children are our best teachers! Their fearlessness and their capacity to view everything as possible is what we as adults need to model more of!
Remaining open to falling down, failing, getting up and trying again is what leads us to true freedom. Freedom to move along knowing that if you fall, you have the choice to get up again.
And try again!

I challenge my clients to try new ways of being. New behaviors, new habits, new rituals. These new ways lead to liberation, to coming out of that box that others have crafted so tightly (and lovingly) around us.

If you find yourself trying to come out of the box and falling while you're at it - fear not!
Children don't, why should you?

Wishing you Happiness in the New Year

 

To all friends who have visited, read and enjoyed this blog:

Thank you for your interest and support! It has been an amazingly fascinating and challenging year for me and it has been an immense personal satisfaction to develop this blog further.
I can't wait to enter the new year and have the opportunity to share more insights and personal thoughts on developing ourselves into more conscientious and free beings, tending for our body, minds, hearts and souls.

I Wish You a Healthy and Happy New Year!

Below are some tips for creating and allowing happiness into our lives. The Greater Good Science   Center is based in the University of California, Berkley and sponsors research into social and emotional well being.

Here are 6 habits they say are worth cultivating if you want to lead a happier life:

To view Press Here:
6 Habits of Happiness Worth Cultivating

VIA Greater Good Science Center

F*@&* THE POLICE!

Some months ago, I was driving in my car after a long day at work, when a motorcycle came zooming in front of me from a small side street, completely disregarding the HUGE RED STOP sign signaling nothing else than to literally stop instead of just cutting in front of my car that way! 

                                                         


Of course, this is a common phenomenon here in Greece and under other circumstances I would just get angry, maybe curse the blessed soul and move on with my life (obviously vibrating in a much lower level)! The thing is it just so happened that it was a police motorcycle, one of the many I've seen doing similar acts over the past year I have returned to this breathtakingly beautiful country. 


I decided right then and there that I wasn't taking any more of this "do as I say not as I do" attitude very common to some (of course not all) policemen. So I drove close to the motorcycle and politely asked if he hadn't seen the STOP sign, or my car coming, for that matter. He couldn't believe I had the audacity to ask such a question and automatically commanded me to pull over. I did as the authority ordered! He took his time to get off his bike and had a quick chat with the policewoman that accompanied  him. He definitely wasn't in a rush and obviously couldn't care less if I happened to be.




So he came next to my window and in a very intimidating tone, asked me to repeat my question. I did as I was told adding that I was frustrated at seeing so many police cars and motorcycles without the use of sirens, disregarding STOP signs and red lights, putting my, and their own lives in danger. I asked "aren't you supposed to be law abiding citizens". "No", he answered, "we are not common citizens like you and we do not have to do as you do". Fair enough, but still I wanted to make sure I understood what he meant correctly: "So you are telling me that you do not have to respect safety directives such as red lights and STOP signs?" He was a little taken aback by my insistence in wanting to know such things, and after some thought answered: "Yes we do" (Great, I thought, at least we are at the same level on this one!) "But", he continued "often times we have urgent situations to attend to, like I have now, which was why I ran the STOP sign, and your questions are impeding me from being where I am supposed to be". Of course I could go on telling him that if he really had to be somewhere urgently enough as to HAVE to run a STOP sign, he wouldn't have pulled me over in the first place. I decided to let that one 
go and just thanked him for doing his job of protecting us citizens, so well!



That is when I determined that, although I appreciate policemen, who are mostly underpaid and risk their lives to protect me, I was going to be MY OWN AUTHORITY from now on.  



But how does one go about being his/her own authority? This is one that takes time and needs much honest self reflection! 


First, you have to identify what are the things that really work for you? More specifically, what are your true needs?
Anthony Robbins, the great and inspiring motivational speaker, says there are 6 basic human needs:
1) Need for Certainty (to avoid pain and to survive)
2) Need for Uncertainty (that comes in the form of variety)
3) Need for Significance (feeling important)
4) Need for Connection and Love (connecting to people is often easier than really loving)
And the final two are our soul needs
5) Need for Growth 
6) Need to Contribute (go beyond "me") 
Which needs would you say you value most? If you were to choose two, which two would they be?


Then, you must come to terms with your deepest desires. These desires can be of the flesh or have a spiritual or mental dimension to them. Being disconnected from or trying to negate your true desires disempowers you and does not allow you to fully flourish and become your own authority. 


Next, take a good look at those things that concern you most. Where are your thoughts most of the time? What are the matters and issues that grab your attention? What do you think of most during your day? Getting in touch with what concerns you allows you to get a grip on your ever so noisy and over stimulated mind and helps you identify if these thoughts are limiting or allow for liberation and expansion. 



Finally, what are your habits? When you start looking in to your habits you will see what really drives you, as these are the the actions/thoughts that you do most and that have become ingrained in you, sometimes giving you the false impression that you "are" these habits.


When you really start looking at these elements of your self in this way, you will realize a great deal about your true essence. The mere act of stopping to think about them, is a huge step forward to becoming your own authority and not allowing just anyone to impose his ideas upon you.  The prerequisite for becoming your own authority is to know yourself very well and be willing to look at the positive and negative aspects that could help or hinder you towards achieving this goal. Acceptance or rejection of these aspects will follow naturally.

You think this "to do" list is too long? Got tired just reading it? You think you "instinctively" know all this about yourself that you don't need to spend any time searching deep within you for these answers? No problem my friend, no problem at all! Just make sure you are thankful to all those cops out there and continue on swiftly down the lane. Just remember to look both ways and speed down a bit, especially when encountering a STOP sign along another person's way!