Every day our thoughts are guided by our fears. Let me speak for myself!
Everyday, MY thoughts are guided by my fears. Have you ever wondered, if your "fear" and your "thoughts" were little kids, who would be the leader in the relationship? In my mind's relationship, fear was Bart Simpson, always finding a way to do and get whatever he wanted; and in a very loud way, no less.
Sometimes my fears became so big and twisted that it was hard to make clear if my thoughts and my fears were one and the same. These were the times when I had to remind myself that my thoughts are my thoughts, I will always have them. On the other hand, fear is fear, I can CHOOSE to have it rule my thoughts or not.
Sometimes I hear my clients say "I don't choose to have fearful thoughts, they just come up." Yes, that's true, thoughts come up just like that. This happens to people like us, who have legs and arms and a heart and a stomach. It's perfectly human to have the most different types of thoughts. Yes, sometimes these thoughts can be fearful. It happens to mothers, it happens to entrepreneurs, and to CEOs alike. This is where self awareness and self observance come in. The more you observe yourself, the more you become aware that you are having fearful thoughts. Only when you observe yourself and realize you are behaving in a certain manner do you have the opportunity to decide to change it - if you so desire.
The same doesn't happen to children though! Has anyone asked a little kid what he wants to become when he grows up? Has anyone ever heard "Oh, I don't know, I want to be a rock star but I'm scared that no one will like my style!" NO! Because children have no fear in relation to their dreams. They have no previous memories of defeats or rejections. They have inspiring and challenging dreams - all fearless.
I just completed my NLP Practitioner training course with the Society of NLP's Brazilian trainer Claudio Lara. Among the countless enriching techniques and infomration we received, we were taught how to model behavior, which is what Richard Bandler, ond of NLP's creators, says is one secret formula to success. That secret is to model the behavior of someone who already is or does as you want to become and do.
If we take the behavior of children and model it in order to live a fearless life, let's take the situation where the child thinks about what he wants to become when he grows up. He sees in his mind's eye, himself jamming with his band and what clothes he is wearing. He hears what he is singing. He sees the fans shouting under him and can hear them shouting "You rock, you rock!". He allows himself to envision what he wants, freely and precisely, without thinking if it's possible to get there or what others will think about his decision.
In life, we are always faced with having to confront risks. If we think about it, even the most mundane tasks in life are risky. Do I cross the street now that no cars are coming or do I wait for the pedestrian light to turn green? Do I take the elevator even though an earthquake may occur and I can get stuck in it? Should I drive my vehicle to work even though there is a probability that I might get in a car accident? Risks are all around us.
The important thing is to view risks as opportunities for achieving whatever it is you want. For example, if you were a survivor in a deserted island, and you had to climb tall trees to get coconuts to cease your hunger, you would do it, wouldn't you? The mere thought of that refreshing coconut milk entering your thirsty system would make you willing to take the risk of climbing the tree.
As author Ambrose Redmoon put it: "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. The timid presume it is lack of fear that allows the brave to act when the timid do not. But to take action when one is not afraid is easy. To refrain when afraid is also easy. To take action regardless of fear is brave."
First step, identify what it is you really want. Make a mental image of you achieving/attaining whatever it is you want with a passion. Observe yourself, observe your body: how is your heart pounding, are your hands sweating, is your breathing calm or shallow and quick? How are you feeling these bodily sensations? Are they pleasant or do they carry fear with them? If you find fear creeping up your whole being just by thinking about what you wish you had, relax, you are not alone! Many people fear getting what they really want, because that involves a great deal of risks to be taken.
Second step, remind yourself that what you are visualizing is just that - a visualization, not a contract for something happening or not happening. So be wild, see your wish come true and make it lively, put some vibrant colors on your vision, put some shine on it, make the image bigger! Have fun! That will give the brain the command that it has "seen" what you want, it has lived that situation and the sensation was fantastic! With your brain working in your favor and looking for further ways to feel this same fantastic sensation once again, you will be more equipped for taking the next baby step.
If feeling fear is not an option, you can work with an NLP practitioner and he or she will help you reprogram your mind. More on that later!
Achieving your dreams requires you focus on exactly that - the dream - and leave fear to the side. You don't have to act as if fear doesn't exist if it does. Hiding it under your imaginary carpet doesn't do you any good. Acknowledge it and know that you can take risks even when that creepy fear seems to haunt your every baby step!
Everyday, MY thoughts are guided by my fears. Have you ever wondered, if your "fear" and your "thoughts" were little kids, who would be the leader in the relationship? In my mind's relationship, fear was Bart Simpson, always finding a way to do and get whatever he wanted; and in a very loud way, no less.
Sometimes my fears became so big and twisted that it was hard to make clear if my thoughts and my fears were one and the same. These were the times when I had to remind myself that my thoughts are my thoughts, I will always have them. On the other hand, fear is fear, I can CHOOSE to have it rule my thoughts or not.
Sometimes I hear my clients say "I don't choose to have fearful thoughts, they just come up." Yes, that's true, thoughts come up just like that. This happens to people like us, who have legs and arms and a heart and a stomach. It's perfectly human to have the most different types of thoughts. Yes, sometimes these thoughts can be fearful. It happens to mothers, it happens to entrepreneurs, and to CEOs alike. This is where self awareness and self observance come in. The more you observe yourself, the more you become aware that you are having fearful thoughts. Only when you observe yourself and realize you are behaving in a certain manner do you have the opportunity to decide to change it - if you so desire.
The same doesn't happen to children though! Has anyone asked a little kid what he wants to become when he grows up? Has anyone ever heard "Oh, I don't know, I want to be a rock star but I'm scared that no one will like my style!" NO! Because children have no fear in relation to their dreams. They have no previous memories of defeats or rejections. They have inspiring and challenging dreams - all fearless.
I just completed my NLP Practitioner training course with the Society of NLP's Brazilian trainer Claudio Lara. Among the countless enriching techniques and infomration we received, we were taught how to model behavior, which is what Richard Bandler, ond of NLP's creators, says is one secret formula to success. That secret is to model the behavior of someone who already is or does as you want to become and do.
If we take the behavior of children and model it in order to live a fearless life, let's take the situation where the child thinks about what he wants to become when he grows up. He sees in his mind's eye, himself jamming with his band and what clothes he is wearing. He hears what he is singing. He sees the fans shouting under him and can hear them shouting "You rock, you rock!". He allows himself to envision what he wants, freely and precisely, without thinking if it's possible to get there or what others will think about his decision.
In life, we are always faced with having to confront risks. If we think about it, even the most mundane tasks in life are risky. Do I cross the street now that no cars are coming or do I wait for the pedestrian light to turn green? Do I take the elevator even though an earthquake may occur and I can get stuck in it? Should I drive my vehicle to work even though there is a probability that I might get in a car accident? Risks are all around us.
The important thing is to view risks as opportunities for achieving whatever it is you want. For example, if you were a survivor in a deserted island, and you had to climb tall trees to get coconuts to cease your hunger, you would do it, wouldn't you? The mere thought of that refreshing coconut milk entering your thirsty system would make you willing to take the risk of climbing the tree.
As author Ambrose Redmoon put it: "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. The timid presume it is lack of fear that allows the brave to act when the timid do not. But to take action when one is not afraid is easy. To refrain when afraid is also easy. To take action regardless of fear is brave."
First step, identify what it is you really want. Make a mental image of you achieving/attaining whatever it is you want with a passion. Observe yourself, observe your body: how is your heart pounding, are your hands sweating, is your breathing calm or shallow and quick? How are you feeling these bodily sensations? Are they pleasant or do they carry fear with them? If you find fear creeping up your whole being just by thinking about what you wish you had, relax, you are not alone! Many people fear getting what they really want, because that involves a great deal of risks to be taken.
Second step, remind yourself that what you are visualizing is just that - a visualization, not a contract for something happening or not happening. So be wild, see your wish come true and make it lively, put some vibrant colors on your vision, put some shine on it, make the image bigger! Have fun! That will give the brain the command that it has "seen" what you want, it has lived that situation and the sensation was fantastic! With your brain working in your favor and looking for further ways to feel this same fantastic sensation once again, you will be more equipped for taking the next baby step.
If feeling fear is not an option, you can work with an NLP practitioner and he or she will help you reprogram your mind. More on that later!
Achieving your dreams requires you focus on exactly that - the dream - and leave fear to the side. You don't have to act as if fear doesn't exist if it does. Hiding it under your imaginary carpet doesn't do you any good. Acknowledge it and know that you can take risks even when that creepy fear seems to haunt your every baby step!
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