Have you ever made a decision not to do something and find yourself doing it anyway? The compelling force of that which gives us pleasure (even if followed by pain) is such that one can never be prepared enough to withstand his weak spots.
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Bible, Matthew 26:41
I recently went back on a decision I had made and found myself getting angry at myself, being judgmental and having generalized thoughts such as "I can never stick to my decisions! I will never be able to say no to this!"
Maybe you decided not to eat chocolate in the next month or not to go into facebook when you need to get work done. Maybe it's a decision not to drink more than a preset number of wine glasses per night or not to kiss that person who has absolutely nothing to offer you emotionally.
No matter what decision we make, it takes more than wishful thinking or a positive attitude to stick to it!
It is well known that people are motivated either to get away from pain or to move towards pleasure. Going back on a decision can represent either of the two above. Either you are seeking to avoid pain: "I'm going to DIE if I don't eat that chocolate mousse" or to find pleasure: "That man's kisses give me goose bumps". Sometimes, it can represent both: "I get nervous in social situations. If I drink a whole pool of wine, the night will go by like a breeze".
Here's the first and most important step to dealing with not sticking to your decisions:
FORGIVE YOURSELF!
This sounds like something easy and straightforward and I guarantee that most of you have had a difficult time forgiving yourself after going back on a decision.
Forgiving ourselves is important because it is the purest form of compassion towards ourselves. Compassion for nothing less than being human! Hey, our brains are wired to seek pleasure!
I had this conversation with a client today who told me he felt that if he forgave himself, he would be complying with falling into temptation.
Yes and no!
Yes, if we make a habit out of finding excuses for why we fall into temptation, then forgiving ourselves might be just a way of excusing our behavior.
No, because if there is no true forgiveness, there is no true healing.
The second step to dealing with temptation is to identify what is going on in your body. How does your body feel when faced with the temptation? Do you feel butterflies in your stomach, does your chest weigh a little heavier, does your heart beat faster in anticipation? How does your body react? What would that reaction tell you if it could talk to you?
The third step to dealing with temptations is to always remember it takes nothing less than a warrior to stand tall in the face of seduction. To be a warrior requires you to think in terms of what you will accomplish versus concentrating on what you are trying to "resist". How will sticking to your decision make your life more fulfilling? How will it help you grow? How will it help you be free and liberated? Can you feel how powerful you are when you stick to your decisions?
Forgive yourself and keep on moving. Keep on moving with the power of the warrior who is certain he will accomplish great things if he only has the courage to pay attention to himself and believe with all his might that tomorrow will be a better day.
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Bible, Matthew 26:41
I recently went back on a decision I had made and found myself getting angry at myself, being judgmental and having generalized thoughts such as "I can never stick to my decisions! I will never be able to say no to this!"
Maybe you decided not to eat chocolate in the next month or not to go into facebook when you need to get work done. Maybe it's a decision not to drink more than a preset number of wine glasses per night or not to kiss that person who has absolutely nothing to offer you emotionally.
No matter what decision we make, it takes more than wishful thinking or a positive attitude to stick to it!
It is well known that people are motivated either to get away from pain or to move towards pleasure. Going back on a decision can represent either of the two above. Either you are seeking to avoid pain: "I'm going to DIE if I don't eat that chocolate mousse" or to find pleasure: "That man's kisses give me goose bumps". Sometimes, it can represent both: "I get nervous in social situations. If I drink a whole pool of wine, the night will go by like a breeze".
Here's the first and most important step to dealing with not sticking to your decisions:
FORGIVE YOURSELF!
This sounds like something easy and straightforward and I guarantee that most of you have had a difficult time forgiving yourself after going back on a decision.
Forgiving ourselves is important because it is the purest form of compassion towards ourselves. Compassion for nothing less than being human! Hey, our brains are wired to seek pleasure!
I had this conversation with a client today who told me he felt that if he forgave himself, he would be complying with falling into temptation.
Yes and no!
Yes, if we make a habit out of finding excuses for why we fall into temptation, then forgiving ourselves might be just a way of excusing our behavior.
No, because if there is no true forgiveness, there is no true healing.
The second step to dealing with temptation is to identify what is going on in your body. How does your body feel when faced with the temptation? Do you feel butterflies in your stomach, does your chest weigh a little heavier, does your heart beat faster in anticipation? How does your body react? What would that reaction tell you if it could talk to you?
The third step to dealing with temptations is to always remember it takes nothing less than a warrior to stand tall in the face of seduction. To be a warrior requires you to think in terms of what you will accomplish versus concentrating on what you are trying to "resist". How will sticking to your decision make your life more fulfilling? How will it help you grow? How will it help you be free and liberated? Can you feel how powerful you are when you stick to your decisions?
Forgive yourself and keep on moving. Keep on moving with the power of the warrior who is certain he will accomplish great things if he only has the courage to pay attention to himself and believe with all his might that tomorrow will be a better day.
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