Make New Friends But keep the Old Ones

via treehugger

When I was a young girl I was a brownie (girl scout)! I can't even remember how far back that was (as I have lately started thinking of it, if it's been more than ten years back, it's been TEN years back!!!) What was being a brownie all about? I recall we got badges when we did "good deeds" and we were always encouraged to do good deeds! I am not sure what happened when we did "bad" deeds. I guess that if I had continued being a brownie during my teenage years, I would have saved myself a lot of trouble, but of course, everything happens for a reason! I was not a brownie and I got in a lot of trouble, but let's leave this part for another time!

The one thing that NEVER, EVER leaves my mind about brownies, for some reason, is the song we used to sing. It goes something like this:

"Make new friends, but keep the oooold, one is silver and the other is gold!"

Today I remembered this song after seeing an old friend! Not that my friend is old (again, if it's been more than ten years, it's been ten years!!!!) but we used to hang out when we were young and very innocent. We used to have a special fondness then and I realized, seeing her after so many years, that the special fondness is still there! Our body language was that of connection and acceptance. We held hands as we spoke and were eager to know about each other's endeavors in the five minutes we spoke next to the bar door (I was leaving the bar).

Seeing old friends always makes me nostalgic as I think of days gone by, of how careless and carefree we once were and how life has changed and become more complex. I have recently lost an "old" friend as she didn't approve of the way I chose to live my life and decided to cut me off. That cost me a great deal and I kept wanting to sing to her: "Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold". My "old" friend had made new friends and wasn't really interested if I (was I the silver or gold?) left her life or not. That hurt! It took some time to lick my wounds, like a growing dog that has been left helpless on the side of the road because its owners can't handle the idea of it not being a puppy anymore.

The hard truth is that probably everyone has "ended a friendship" at one point or another. I know I have! I was 15 when I moved to a new school and the one girl eager to speak to me was the only one who was...let's say...a little emotionally impaired! She came from a religiously fanatic family and ended up under medical care after we graduated. She is one friend I did not keep, although looking back, if I could change the way I avoided her after I made "new" friends, I would!

Everything new comes with excitement! New friends are always exciting as they present endless possibilities. We imagine the new activities we can establish with them and so many other new friends we can make, their old friends becoming our new friends! New buddies show us the world in an original way, bring new ideas into our heads and don't come with the heavy load that might accompany an old buddy. Oh, but how wonderful it is to have an old friend! That homey feeling you sometimes get when encountering that long time chum, that almost automatically takes you back to when you were 16, wore braces and had zits all over your face, but that one loved you still the same!


The universe, in its ever knowing synchronicity, never ceases to amaze and play with me. As I was writing these lines I got a Skype call from an old, gold mate. We talked about our lives (we live in different countries and haven't seen each other in years) and how things that once were are not anymore. His call gave me a magical reassurance that yes, it is important to make an effort to keep old friends who bring with them the memory of who we once were. They are the opportunity to keep us anchored, to remind ourselves of where we came from, regardless of where we have chosen to be at the present moment.

via The Daily P.O.P

Different friends can add different spices into our lives, and seeing this is the secret to appreciating those around us. One friend can be the listener, the one to call in times of trouble. The other can be there to cheer us up with his sense of humor. Still another might be the inspiring one, always ready to share her amusing experiences. That is why it is so important to keep room for both old and new, because one never knows what present the other will bring along and which friend will really be there to help in a time of need. 

How important are friends in your life? In this busy, crazy world, where we are pressed for time and when enjoying our time off, are dutifully engaged in the virtual insanity of social networks, blogging, chat rooms and online dating, how interested are you in making new friends? How often do you keep up with old friends, calling them up just to say hello and to let them know you are thinking of them? If you were a girl or boy scout, would you get a badge for being available to your friends, old or new?

The old, gold friend who "Skyped" me lived in France for a long time and in his honor, I conclude that having friends is a magical gift and regardless of the "status" of old or new, as Louis Armstrong once sang, 

Image via Top100musicdownloads.com

"I'll say to you, as the French people do...C'est Si Bon"!
It's so good to have friends and I wish to honor and thank each and every one of mine! You are certainly the silver and gold of my life!

F*@&* THE POLICE!

Some months ago, I was driving in my car after a long day at work, when a motorcycle came zooming in front of me from a small side street, completely disregarding the HUGE RED STOP sign signaling nothing else than to literally stop instead of just cutting in front of my car that way! 

                                                         


Of course, this is a common phenomenon here in Greece and under other circumstances I would just get angry, maybe curse the blessed soul and move on with my life (obviously vibrating in a much lower level)! The thing is it just so happened that it was a police motorcycle, one of the many I've seen doing similar acts over the past year I have returned to this breathtakingly beautiful country. 


I decided right then and there that I wasn't taking any more of this "do as I say not as I do" attitude very common to some (of course not all) policemen. So I drove close to the motorcycle and politely asked if he hadn't seen the STOP sign, or my car coming, for that matter. He couldn't believe I had the audacity to ask such a question and automatically commanded me to pull over. I did as the authority ordered! He took his time to get off his bike and had a quick chat with the policewoman that accompanied  him. He definitely wasn't in a rush and obviously couldn't care less if I happened to be.




So he came next to my window and in a very intimidating tone, asked me to repeat my question. I did as I was told adding that I was frustrated at seeing so many police cars and motorcycles without the use of sirens, disregarding STOP signs and red lights, putting my, and their own lives in danger. I asked "aren't you supposed to be law abiding citizens". "No", he answered, "we are not common citizens like you and we do not have to do as you do". Fair enough, but still I wanted to make sure I understood what he meant correctly: "So you are telling me that you do not have to respect safety directives such as red lights and STOP signs?" He was a little taken aback by my insistence in wanting to know such things, and after some thought answered: "Yes we do" (Great, I thought, at least we are at the same level on this one!) "But", he continued "often times we have urgent situations to attend to, like I have now, which was why I ran the STOP sign, and your questions are impeding me from being where I am supposed to be". Of course I could go on telling him that if he really had to be somewhere urgently enough as to HAVE to run a STOP sign, he wouldn't have pulled me over in the first place. I decided to let that one 
go and just thanked him for doing his job of protecting us citizens, so well!



That is when I determined that, although I appreciate policemen, who are mostly underpaid and risk their lives to protect me, I was going to be MY OWN AUTHORITY from now on.  



But how does one go about being his/her own authority? This is one that takes time and needs much honest self reflection! 


First, you have to identify what are the things that really work for you? More specifically, what are your true needs?
Anthony Robbins, the great and inspiring motivational speaker, says there are 6 basic human needs:
1) Need for Certainty (to avoid pain and to survive)
2) Need for Uncertainty (that comes in the form of variety)
3) Need for Significance (feeling important)
4) Need for Connection and Love (connecting to people is often easier than really loving)
And the final two are our soul needs
5) Need for Growth 
6) Need to Contribute (go beyond "me") 
Which needs would you say you value most? If you were to choose two, which two would they be?


Then, you must come to terms with your deepest desires. These desires can be of the flesh or have a spiritual or mental dimension to them. Being disconnected from or trying to negate your true desires disempowers you and does not allow you to fully flourish and become your own authority. 


Next, take a good look at those things that concern you most. Where are your thoughts most of the time? What are the matters and issues that grab your attention? What do you think of most during your day? Getting in touch with what concerns you allows you to get a grip on your ever so noisy and over stimulated mind and helps you identify if these thoughts are limiting or allow for liberation and expansion. 



Finally, what are your habits? When you start looking in to your habits you will see what really drives you, as these are the the actions/thoughts that you do most and that have become ingrained in you, sometimes giving you the false impression that you "are" these habits.


When you really start looking at these elements of your self in this way, you will realize a great deal about your true essence. The mere act of stopping to think about them, is a huge step forward to becoming your own authority and not allowing just anyone to impose his ideas upon you.  The prerequisite for becoming your own authority is to know yourself very well and be willing to look at the positive and negative aspects that could help or hinder you towards achieving this goal. Acceptance or rejection of these aspects will follow naturally.

You think this "to do" list is too long? Got tired just reading it? You think you "instinctively" know all this about yourself that you don't need to spend any time searching deep within you for these answers? No problem my friend, no problem at all! Just make sure you are thankful to all those cops out there and continue on swiftly down the lane. Just remember to look both ways and speed down a bit, especially when encountering a STOP sign along another person's way! 

Messages From a Beautiful Girl

I was once told that if there is someone you love and a beautiful woman takes this someone away from you, she is trying to tell you something. It is important to see what she is trying to tell you as it is surely an essential message. I didn't fully agree with the lesson, but decided to keep my heart open to it nonetheless. Until it happened to me!

I am in the fortunate yet in all honesty, distressing position of trying to decipher the message! The same beautiful woman has taken not one, but two men away from me! Two of the last men who have drifted through my life were later somehow involved with the same beautiful woman. In this case, it is the same beautiful girl, but allow me to keep talking about a woman, as it surely has a more dramatic feel to it!

                                                      Image by Gerge Petty

Of course, analyzing the story from a place of less self pity, one of them she never really took away and the other was never really mine to take away, but still, it is a colossal coincidence, to say the very least!

Of all beautiful women in this world, how come it is the same one involved?

So now I finally decided to accept what they had once told me, and am trying hard to understand what it is this girl is unknowingly attempting to tell me.

Could it be that she is showing me that the men I go for are actually interested in going after young girls?  Is this the pattern I have chosen to reinforce my sense of selflessness and more specifically, my perish-fulness? I could put myself in a victim position and start going on and on about what this one did and what that one did, but the real issue here is me. If one is to empower and respect him/herself, one has to come to terms with the realization that all the choices he makes stem from what he values and what images he has of himself in relation to the rest of the world. So the secret is to always focus on the "I", not on the other.

                                                  

With the danger of coming across as a love doctor and the full awareness that relationships are more complex than we can possibly analyze in a few words, I ask all women out there:

Have you thought about which of your values you are honoring by being with or going after this particular man you are interested in? Have you thought about what familiar patterns he represents? Most importantly, if this is a relationship where you feel you are not fully respected, appreciated or "seen", have you pondered about what values you are willing to sacrifice just to say that you have a handsome man by your side? Sometimes, let's be honest, he isn't even that handsome!! By the way, this holds just as true for all men out there!

So my question today is: how willing are you to really look at your relationships or the people that interest you and identify the messages they present you with?  My message came in the form of a beautiful girl, how has it come for you?

Just to finish off with a message, here goes a spicy one:

"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think".  Author Unknown

Change! for the time being!

Is it just me or is everything moving faster than you can say "hold oooon!"

I have heard from so many friends and acquaintances that so and so has separated from their significant other, moved to another house, another country, trying their luck in a new job...uuufff, things are happening so fast and we are just trying to keep up with it all!

I personally think it has to do with our times. 2011 is an interesting year! The year before 2012!

For those of you who have heard nothing about 2012, it's a year that has been described as "the end of times" by some ancient civilizations. It is also believed that in 2012 an alignment of the planets will have a direct and major influence over our planet earth.

What does all that mean and what does it have to do with me!?!

Again, personally, I don't believe it is the end of times, but merely the beginning! The beginning of a new time as we know...time! I have chosen to believe that this is a period when our consciousness in this earth plane is going through a tremendous shift. We are collectively seeing things in a different manner, taking care of and thinking about not only ourselves but others around us! Well, it's about time, I say!

I mean, while the poor African child is starving, we have the beautiful girl who doesn't know if she should buy the red or black 400 Euro pumps that, by the way, cost as much as the poor African's family supply of lifetime staple!
But you knew that already!
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for pumps and flashy dresses, to each his own, but I'm not for those who are ONLY about pumps and flashy dresses! There's gotta be more to life than just a beautiful piece of cloth or shoe, which, by the way, wasn't even made with the girl's well being in mind, mind you!

So, yes, I do think things are happening fast and it's scary! Because changes can be hard and changes can be scary! I've had my fair share of changes in the past months and all I can do is keep on smiling, even when I don't feel like smiling, because maybe if I keep on smiling I will start feeling that smiling was the best thing to have done after all!

If you, like myself, don't think this is the end of the line, the end of it all, finito la musica, I suggest you too keep on smiling and above all, always be open to new experiences and have faith in the idea that all things come in their due time: even the end of times (yikes)!

And remember: you can be the girl with the stunning pumps if you so desire, but change is about going beyond that, beyond what you know, beyond what is comfortable and easy.

Can you think of one thing you can do today to bring change into your life and maybe the life of someone around you?

TV or not TV?

I am currently in a situation where I am about to "lose" the box that connects me to the world. The TV set in my house is not actually mine and the person who owns it wants it back. It has not been easy to say goodbye to it and I have been postponing the day that it will really have to go!!

Like a friend who is about to set sail to new lands and I know will live new adventures, meet new tribes, I feel jealous and at the same time possessive about "my" TV set! Because it will live on, it will go on presenting all those cooking reality shows that are so hip now and it will go on showing those 1960's movies that we have seen about 1000 times (please remember, this is Greek TV I'm talking about, no paying channels, no satellite) and it will go on exhibiting all those gossip programs that I couldn't care less about, but now all of a sudden, I do care a lot about!! Because I don't want to see it go and live and flourish - without me!!!

Whoever heard of a house without a TV set? We had a boy in school whose parents didn't own one (and it was a conscious choice, not an economical issue) and when reminiscing with old school chums, to this day, that is still the first thing I remember "oh yeah, that boy who didn't have a television in his house"! Am I going to be that boy? I can't be that boy! How am I going to face the 21st century TVless!?

I spent days thinking if I should get another TV set or not! So I came to the conclusion and firmly decided that I am not getting one! For starters, it made me feel free! I do believe one has to be in touch with what is going on in this planet, and lately most of what I watched was the news, but if there is something important going on, I will surely hear about it.

It made me feel lighter. All you hear in the news is crisis, war, personal disgraces, corruption...all this karma which is not my karma! Why do I have to share in it? It's like when you see a car accident on the edge of the road, a part of you doesn't want to look, but you can't help it, you look and you drive slowly by the site and you want to figure out exactly what happened! Their karma, not mine!

Well, for now, I will choose to abstain from what it is that channel owners want me to see, bye, believe, live by, and take in as my choices and my karma! I will be the weird boy whose house doesn't include a TV set!

That is, of course, whenever I allow my friend to take it away from me! It will have to be next month because in March I want to watch the Brazilian carnival. Oh and the month after that, I heard Master Chef Junior will be on, that will be so cute, I can't miss that one!

Did I say "firmly decided I am not getting one"? And miss out on the horoscope lady in the morning gossip show, and those delicious recipes of stuffed calamari and not seeing those Turkish soap operas with those hot lover boys and....