So here's the situation: you have a client who is not satisfied with your product/service. He sends you an email complaining or sharing his discontentment. What do you do? Do you answer him straight away or do you leave answering him on your to do list, secretly hoping that the problem will go away?
Another situation: You have promised a friend you will meet for drinks or dinner to catch up. At the end of a busy day you are really tired and all you want to do is go home, take a shower and crawl under the covers. What do you do? Do you call and let him know how you're truly feeling? Do you decide not to call him and hope he won't call you either? Do you avoid him and let the phone ring when he calls thinking "I'll call him tomorrow and give him a good excuse"?
Third situation: You are casually seeing a man or woman and decide that you don't want to take it any further. Fair enough. How do you deal with it? Do you think of a way of telling the person? Do you decide that you will never answer his phone calls or her emails again and that will hopefully get your message across? Or do you pick a fake fight so that the person can hate you forever?
There are times we don't want to deal with the situations that come our way. It's only human to want to let things pass or let the days go by, wishing the other person will forget or will think about it more lightly. What we tend to forget in these situations is to put ourselves in the other person's shoes. How would I feel if I asked my friend to meet up and she didn't answer the phone? How would I feel if I wrote to a company's service center and got no answer in return? How would I feel if I were casually seeing someone and they just drifted out of my life, leaving things unsaid?
It takes courage to face up to situations we don't want to deal with. What's important to understand is that this courage, the one needed to face circumstances we would rather forget, is the same courage that's needed for creating anything in our lives. Because when one lives with courage, he lives with courage in all situations, not only one or another.
Living with courage means being responsible for your words, your actions, your commitments. Knowing that what you say and do can affect someone and what you DON'T say or do can too. Living with courage is about being transparent. Being transparent allows you to be in touch with your personal power. You are most powerful when you don't have to "hope" that someone won't see you, or "wish" that another person won't call you or "pray" that someone else will just forget about what happened between you.
You are what you are and you let the other person know. If he likes it, that's great! If she doesn't, that's great too! At least you will both know that you can't take this relationship (be it personal or professional) any further. When you have all situations settled, even when they are hurtful, even when you would much rather not deal with them, you can walk with your head up high.
How powerful is an ostrich? How much power does he exude by burying his head in the sand? How powerfully are you showing up? Do you want to be remembered as a great (wo)man or a great big ostrich?
Another situation: You have promised a friend you will meet for drinks or dinner to catch up. At the end of a busy day you are really tired and all you want to do is go home, take a shower and crawl under the covers. What do you do? Do you call and let him know how you're truly feeling? Do you decide not to call him and hope he won't call you either? Do you avoid him and let the phone ring when he calls thinking "I'll call him tomorrow and give him a good excuse"?
Third situation: You are casually seeing a man or woman and decide that you don't want to take it any further. Fair enough. How do you deal with it? Do you think of a way of telling the person? Do you decide that you will never answer his phone calls or her emails again and that will hopefully get your message across? Or do you pick a fake fight so that the person can hate you forever?
There are times we don't want to deal with the situations that come our way. It's only human to want to let things pass or let the days go by, wishing the other person will forget or will think about it more lightly. What we tend to forget in these situations is to put ourselves in the other person's shoes. How would I feel if I asked my friend to meet up and she didn't answer the phone? How would I feel if I wrote to a company's service center and got no answer in return? How would I feel if I were casually seeing someone and they just drifted out of my life, leaving things unsaid?
It takes courage to face up to situations we don't want to deal with. What's important to understand is that this courage, the one needed to face circumstances we would rather forget, is the same courage that's needed for creating anything in our lives. Because when one lives with courage, he lives with courage in all situations, not only one or another.
Living with courage means being responsible for your words, your actions, your commitments. Knowing that what you say and do can affect someone and what you DON'T say or do can too. Living with courage is about being transparent. Being transparent allows you to be in touch with your personal power. You are most powerful when you don't have to "hope" that someone won't see you, or "wish" that another person won't call you or "pray" that someone else will just forget about what happened between you.
You are what you are and you let the other person know. If he likes it, that's great! If she doesn't, that's great too! At least you will both know that you can't take this relationship (be it personal or professional) any further. When you have all situations settled, even when they are hurtful, even when you would much rather not deal with them, you can walk with your head up high.
How powerful is an ostrich? How much power does he exude by burying his head in the sand? How powerfully are you showing up? Do you want to be remembered as a great (wo)man or a great big ostrich?
What an impactful article, Elena.
ReplyDeleteThe word ‘courage’ has its root in ‘heart’. ‘Cour’ = ‘coeur’ (’heart’ in French). And how I read your message, "It takes courage to face up to situations we don't want to deal with." - is that I just need to follow my heart... (Even - or especially - when it feels uncomfortable).
Thank you for the great input Rich!
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